DUTERTE’S A JOKE….70

“Ako lang ang MILLENNIAL sa Duterte Cabinet….” SAL PANELO

ATTY MANS CARPIO – THE MOST EXPENSIVE LAWYER

Why is Atty Mans expensive? a) He graduated Summa cl b) He topped the Bar c) He is a famed litigator d) He is Rody’s manugang

Janet Napoles asked Atty Mans how much is his representation? That first query costs her LVs and a box of HERMÈS

Jinggoy and Bong Revilla called up Atty Mans Law Offc They were billed P10M for saying HELLO

 

Duterte: Marcoses won’t return wealth without immunity

“Bigyan ko kau ng AMNESIA…..este AMNESTY”

 

“My mother told me, ‘a pig should never ape an ape'” Trillanes said to Dick

 

CAVENDICK: Sagingdick from Davao

 

On Dick’s “don’t wrestle with PIGS” Trillanes shot back “Look who’s grunting….”

 

“Ung IMPEACHMNT ni CJ SERENO i-hearing muna Ung kay CJ CORONA minadali ‘Di ako IMBECILE tulad ni Speaker Villar!” ‘ika ni Alvarez

 

Dahil sa pagyao ni Kian at Carl Lumuha ng Bato si Persida

 

“Ano Combat Incentive Pay?” tanong ni Ping. “Bayad sa Pulis pag ‘NANLABAN’ ung adik Kaya nga Combat GAGO!” ‘ ika ni Bato

 

SADISTA si Rody by assigning and w/drawing the appointmnt of Espenido in Iloilo ‘Di nkatulog si Frank at Jed

 

Frank Drilon & Jed Mabilog lost weight for lack of sleep

 

Sam Peter drove MARCOS out of the PEARLY GATES In HELL the GOLD melted and Satan renumbered them…So ano pa isosoli?

 

Actually, wala ng GOLD BAR si MARCOS kasi hinakot na niya sa GATES OF HEAVEN para suhulan si SAM PEDRO….

 

A GRO from Davao confirms that ABELLERA is really SMALL

 

Gordon: Sino abogado nung SHABU IMPORTER? Taguba: Si Eddie po

Gordon: Sino Eddie?

Mans: Eddie ako My reklamo?

 

SUPER LAWYER UNDER RODY ADMINISTRATION

 

Bagong THE FIRM: CARPIO GORDON & SOTTO

 

A client of ATTY MANS CARPIO got a BILL for “EYE CONTACT”

 

A CALLING CARD of ATTY MANS CARPIO makes one poorer by at least P5M….P20M if signed

 

A SELFIE with ATTY MANS CARPIO costs P10M

 

THE FIRM and ACCRA offer ATTY MANS CARPIO Senior Partnership or they soon close shop

 

KIAN family asked Rody if they could retain ATTY MANS CARPIO

Rody told them his manugang does no pro bono cases

 

LIFE EXPECTANCY dips in ILOILO

 

President Duterte: Marcoses ready to return a few gold bars

Faeldon: Polong ready to refund some ENROLLMENT FEES

 

KAIN na Hindi na KIAN

 

Quezon: “I prefer a govt run like HELL by Filipinos”

Duterte: “Eh ganun nmn pala Anu reklamo nyo?”

 

Si Cañete Fiscal din db? May pag-asang maging Presidente

 

PAO-a DOJ agency-to handle prosecution of KIAN’s MURDER–“TEOPE!”

 

PNoy anu kaya kung HAMUNIN mo ng BARILAN si Rody para magkaalaman na?

 

Justice Carpio to Duterte, Cayetano: TIO PAENG nyo ba China?

 

Indian woman wins divorce over lack of toilet-News. Again, Alvarez gets an idea…

 

“Wag po, sir” ika ni Kian “Ano wag PUSHER?” ika nung Parak Calokohan

 

PNP Intel-Kian Shabu courier “Bakit wala PNP Intel sa CUSTOMS 650 kilos shabu?” Tang ina mo Rody ika ko

 

Seagull rips off man’s testicle as he sunbathes naked-NEWS

The DILAWAN mulls this penalty once Rody’s out of Malacanang

 

Isang Linggong Pag-ibig ni Imelda Papin: “Lunes-32 Martes-21 Mierkules-23 Huwebes-15 Biernes-17….”

 

Dapat ipakain na lang ni Rody ung mga MANOK from Pampanga sa mga NANLABAN

 

I can’t clean BOC alone – Faeldon

“I need the help of POLONG and DONG…” the Captain added

 

Has LTFRB suspended any TAXI OPERATOR for REFUSAL TO CONVEY? Uber Acting kau Chairman Del Grab!

 

“I thought he’s American and his name was DICK It turned out he’s Chinese and his name is DONG….” RAPE VICTIM

 

Kamag-anak pala ng GRAB ang LTFRB CHAIRMAN ATTY MARTIN DEL GRAB

 

“May DUE PROCESS, ‘pag kakampe ‘Pag Kalaban SHOOT SA BALDE…” — Jonathan Rosales

 

21 patay sa EKJ sa BULACAN: BLACKJACK

9 patay kahapon sa NCR: BACCARAT

75 patay sa Mindanao: BINGO na!

 

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