DUTERTE’S a joke…51

duterte-abe-davao (1)Folksy diplomacy: Digong shows Abe his ‘kulambo’-NEWS

He made sure that he’s inside of it. “Abe-san, am not outside. Inside.” Rody assures. “Only when he sleep” Honeylet retorted.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/862112/folksy-diplomacy-digong-shows-abe-his-kulambo


rex-tillerson-large-169In an editorial, the Communist Party mouthpiece Global Times said Rex Tillerson better “bone up on nuclear power strategies if he wants to force a big nuclear power to withdraw from its own territories.”

No doubt about it. Tillerson’s Boss has a perpetual boner so does our President in these parts. “That’s China’s tragedy. Their morning wood is a disappointment as it goes only down the drain.” Sec Perfect Yasay muses.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/862116/china-warns-of-nuclear-war


Ugandan man gets buried with $5,700 cash so he can ‘bribe God’-News

Erap, Rody and Marcos died and found themselves at the Gates of Heaven. St Peter was at the door and told them if they have a Pasalubong to the Holy Owner. If it’s rare or nothing like it in Heaven, the entrant may be allowed in. “Ano dala mo Erap?” St Peter asked. Erap scampered to look for anything inside his pocket and found a cheap lighter. “Ok yan. Wala apoy dito sa Langit” St Peter said and allowed him in. Rody’s turn and he found a bullet he confiscated at Terminal 3. “Ok yan. Walang bala yung dalang .45 ni FPJ” St Peter allowed him in. While St Peter was talking to Erap and Rody, Marcos, mortified, got a glimpse of Heaven’s interior which is made of pure 100% gold. “And what did you bring, Mr. Marcos?” the Keeper asked. “Gold, Sir” Marcos wryly answered.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the reason why Marcos was buried at the LIBINGAN….

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/862067/ugandan-man-gets-buried-with-5700-cash-so-he-can-bribe-god


Senate Majority Leader Vicente “Tito” Sotto III was hell-bent on stopping the Department of Health (DOH) from distributing condoms in schools, reminding it anew on Friday that it would be against the law to have sex with underage students.

“Pwede, kung gagawing Bunting, Banderitas, o Baloon,” Vic Sotto said.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/861980/sotto-hell-bent-on-stopping-doh-from-giving-condoms-in-schools


A woman in Nevada has been killed by a superbug that proved resistant to every antibiotic available in the US, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has said.

“Legalize Shabu provided it has this indispensable component,” Leila proposed to the Senate.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/01/13/us-woman-killed-superbug-resistant-every-available-antibiotic/


People who speak two languages are experts at selecting relevant information and ignoring things that will distract from a task.

That’s why Pacquiao is destined to be a good Senator….and the man from Davao, a great Mayor.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/bilingual-speak-two-languages-brain-more-efficient-combat-cognitive-ageing-study-universit-de-montr-a7519026.html


Mark Sergeant, psychology lecturer at Nottingham Trent University, told Metro that a ‘masturbation break’ would be “very effective” at work and a great way to relieve tension and stress.

Malacañang announced an EO ready for signing by the President to go in tandem with the FOI policy of the Rody Administration. “Gusto ni Presidente tawagin itong JOB. ‘Jack-Off BREAK'” Mocha blogged.

https://www.indy100.com/article/masturbation-at-work-in-office-good-for-health-psychologist-science-report-7525081


Netizens are the new “drug addicts” in the age of technology with social media serving as their drug, a communication expert said Thursday.

The President is coming out with a new MATRIX with Mocha tucking in with 5M followers topping the list as SUPER DRUG LORD.

http://news.abs-cbn.com/focus/01/12/17/netizens-are-new-drug-addicts-communications-expert


Sure, swearing is considered poor form in certain settings—like courts, classrooms, and most offices. But people who do it may be more trustworthy, according to a new three-part study analyzing swearing and straightforwardness in individuals and society.

GMRC or its equivalent has incorporated swearing as part of the DECS curriculum. Mocha is ecstatic. “Kitam’ vindicated si Rody. Mas authentic keysa kay Trump” the MTRCB Chair said. A new Indie film is expected to break at the Box Office with a GP rating entitled “Pamilyang Anak Nang Tuta.”
https://qz.com/881289/a-new-study-linking-profanity-to-honesty-shows-people-who-curse-are-more-authentic/


Gaslighing: The techniques include saying and doing things and then denying it, blaming others for misunderstanding, disparaging their concerns as oversensitivity, claiming outrageous statements were jokes or misunderstandings, and other forms of twilighting the truth.

This is old hat. Ed Abella and company are adept in warding off media or commentators’ reactions in the heels of President Rody’s pronouncements.

http://edition.cnn.com/2017/01/10/opinions/donald-trump-is-gaslighting-america-ghitis/index.html


A man has been convicted of rape after taking off a condom during sex without his sexual partner knowing.

16M felt being raped by President Rody who promised to wear condom by Candidate Digong.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/man-convicted-rape-condom-sex-switzerland-a7521891.html


Majority of Filipinos do not find the need to impose martial law to solve the problems being faced by the country now, a recent survey by Pulse Asia showed.

They prefer brisk conversion to the new religion founded by the President himself to bring radical change in the Filipino: IGLESIA NI RODY.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/861319/most-filipinos-find-martial-law-unnecessary-pulse-asia


“It is the prerogative of the Palace to invite those who they feel is needed to be there,” Presidential spokesperson Ernesto Abella told reporters in an ambush interview on Wednesday.

Mocha, Vit Aguirre, and Billy Andal are up in arms for not being asked to attend the annual Vin d’honneur.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/861467/palace-invited-only-those-needed-in-vin-dhonneur-abella


President Duterte threatens, curses at mayors during Palace meeting-News

The members of the Cabinet who were asked to wait outside swear that they heard a percussionist playing, “Bog…Bog….Bog…” while Rody was hurling crispy ‘Putang Ina n’yo’ at the local chief executives.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/861517/duterte-curses-threatens-mayors-during-palace-meeting


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