DUTERTE’S a joke….43

harryhairy“Ang aking paninindigan, kapag ikaw ay isang public figure o taong gobyerno, wala kang pribadong buhay…Kapag ikaw ay pumasok ng public service, binigyan mo ng lisensiya ang publiko na busisiin ang pribado mong buhay kasi ang pribado mong pagkatao ay magkakaroon ng impact kung paano ka maninilbihan sa bayan,” Harry Roque earlier said in an interview over dzMM.

“Kung ikaw ay imoral sa iyong private life, siguradong magiging imoral ka rin sa iyong paglilingkod sa bayan,” he added.

Ronnie Dayan Jaybee Sebastian and Peter Co requested tight HOUSE security in appearing before the House panel. Harry Roque volunteered as the “eyes and ears” of the panel when these witnesses were stripped for deadly weapon inspection. “Ay naku ‘Day! Totruth nga puro sila DEADLY WEAPON. Kay Ronnie, nakatingala. Kay Jaybee, naka-kasa. Kay Peter Co, tulog.”

“MANILA — Speaker Pantaleon Alvarez on Tuesday called on two immigration officials caught on camera receiving cash bribes amounting to P48 million to resign voluntarily to “spare President Duterte the embarrassment” of firing them.”

“Embarassment? This is the only President who is immune from embarassment. He has exhibited the most outrageous behavior in public for the last six months and you want to spare him some slack? C’mon Mr. Lackey!” Leila in a txt message said.


 

“MANILA – (UPDATED) House Speaker Pantaleon Alvarez on Tuesday denied rumors that he will reprise his role as transportation secretary and pave the way for the rise of Deputy Speaker Gloria Arroyo to the House leadership.”

“Okey na Zarzuela. Magagastusan ng todo si Minority Floor Leader dahil lahat ng CHIT s’ya magbabayad.” Edcel Lagman whispered.


“Ombudsman Morales: Impeach me? Be my guest”

Speaker Panty Alvarez: You’re an Ex of Leila?You want to be a witness? Be my guest!”


““Ang tanging paraan lamang na ako matatanggal ay kung ako ay magreresign, mamatay, o kung ako ay mai-expel ng Kamara,” he added.”

Kabayan Party List is now contacting Marvin Marcos and Matira.


“BI Commissioners Al Agosino and Michael Robles claimed that they only had P30 million in their custody, with P2 million going to Sombero as ‘balato’ (goodwill cash) while Calima asked for P18 million supposedly to pay off Inquirer columnist Ramon Tulfo and Sombero.”

“Kaya pala talagang Commission(ers) ang tawag sa kanila. Namimigay ng commission: Pareng Wally, 2M ka rito. Pareng Ramon, 16M ka. Chief Calima, 2M ka. Split na kami sa 30M. Si BMW, US$1M pangako ni Jack. Ok everybody hapi ha?” Al Argosino reparteed.


“MANILA – A group of Davao-based fashion designers released a statement on Tuesday, criticizing the decision of the Miss Universe pageant hosting committee to hand over the privilege of dressing up some of the candidates for a side event to be held in the city to a “non-Mindananoan” designer. ”

It was later learnt that the “non-Mindanaoan designer” is from Benguet Province who won over the Committee by his revealing “bahag” design. “Ayos yan,” Cong. Baguilat affirms.


“Gerard Mosquera, Deputy Ombudsman for Luzon, said on Tuesday that the agency needs “honest lawyers” to fill 2,100 vacant posts at the Ombudsman.”

The genus “Honest Lawyers” is not only an oxymoron but mythical creatures like the Phoenix and the Unicorn.


“Gerard Mosquera, Deputy Ombudsman for Luzon, said on Tuesday that the agency needs “honest lawyers” to fill 2,100 vacant posts at the Ombudsman.”

They are now on the run when the President included them in his HIT LIST.


“DTI said the import commodity clearance issued to Manage Resources Trading Corporation was recalled “to ensure that the shipment meets the required laws, rules and standards required for traceability, quality, and safety.” “

“No, no, no! Jack Lam is not the importer of these steel bars” clarified a ranking DTI underling.


Deputy Commissioners Al Argosino and Michael Robles said of the P50 million, retired police General turned small town lottery expert Wally Sombero got P2 million while Immigration Intelligence Chief Charles Calima got P18 million.”

The two Commissioners, in the verge of tears, conducted a Press Conference announcing that “as a gift to the President” they are filing a corruption complaint versus Jack Lam. “Ngayon lang ako nakakita ng complainant na nalulungkot at walang kaimik- imik sa sulok habang nanghihinayang sa P48M na isosoli nila” Wally Sombero remarked referring to Commissioner Michael Robles.


“MANILA – House Speaker Pantaleon Alvarez on Tuesday denied rumors that he will reprise his role as transportation secretary and pave the way for the rise of Deputy Speaker Gloria Arroyo to the House leadership.”

The new House Speaker sought out Manny Villar on how to endorse The Articles of Impeachment in the guise of leading an opening prayer.


Justice Secretary Vitaliano Aguirre II admitted he felt betrayed following the P50-million bribery scandal at the Bureau of Immigration (BI).”

“Down payment ung P50M. US$1M sa Boss nila.” Wally Sombero says. Actually, nanghihingi ng pambili ng wig si Commissioner Argosino kay Jack kasi kinakantyawan daw s’ya ni Vit na mas mukhang may pera kapag naka-hair piece.” the go between added.


While Deputy Commissioners Argosino and Robles had acknowledged receipt of custody of P48-million on 27 November, 2016 with Wally Sombero getting P2-million as future evidence of corruption of public officials, the series of events that transpired showed a continuing link of corruption involving gambling magnate Jack Lam, his two interpreters Norman Ng and Alexander Yu and General Charles Calima,” Argosino and Robles said in a statement.

Even money now is incubated. It took these two geniuses 16 days to puke out the P48M hoping that the money would lay some more eggs.


Miss Universe Organization (MUO) president Paula Shugart on Monday quashed possibilities that President Rodrigo Duterte would sit as a judge in the international beauty tilt in Manila next month.

He was dissuaded after all as it might reveal the presidential aesthetic sense “Bawdy is in the eyes of the beholder.”


BI deputy commissioners Michael Robles and Al Argosino claimed P2 million of the P50 million went to former police official Wally Sombero while P18 million was pocketed by retired police general Charles Calima, chief of the BI’s intelligence unit. ”

Pambili nga naman ng EXCELLENTE HAM sa Quiapo.


“BI deputy commissioners Michael Robles and Al Argosino showed reporters the cash bundles they accepted last November 27 from Wally Sombero, a former police official linked to Lam, who allegedly wanted authorities to release over 1,300 supposedly undocumented workers arrested in his online gambling casino. ”

The Twelfh Commandment says, “when caught, thou shalt not admit.”


““So, I sleep, I go home earliest two [a.m.] dito. Then I review papers until sometimes six o’clock in the morning. Kaya kung pabalikin ako… Wala naman akong ano… I have not totally misgivings, but truly kung pabalikin ako, sabi ko nga sa kanya, ‘Ayaw ko na. Ayaw ko na’. Maliit, t**** i**, maliit ang sweldo. [laughter] Dalawa ang pamilya ko,” the President said.”

Which ETHICS Committee should this admission be referred to?


“Wally Sombero (gofer of Jack Lam), wearing a black cap, black shirt, and pants, was with two commissioners in eye glasses—one in a blue button-down shirt identified as Michael Robles and the other in a black shirt identified as Al Argosino.”

This is reminiscent of the “12 Little Indians Fiasco” in Cory Aquino’s watch involving the late BI Comm ZAPIRO RESPICIO and DOJ SEC Bebot Bello. The current DoJ Sec Vit Aguirre denies having a hand in the exchange of cash claiming Lam, assisted by Sombero, attempted to bribe him. If Aguirre didn’t accept the grease money, as Chief of the NBI, he is liable for Prevaricación for not arresting the bribers.


““Sa Mindanao, well, of course, landslide ako pero wala akong, ang governor kaisa-isa lang at dahil siya ay naging kasintahan ko,” he said.

Matanda na siya ngayon but she was, she became mayor when she was only 27. Ako naman noon 42 lang ako. Batang-bata pa kami. Kagabi, nandoon siya sa Malacanang. Hinila ko sa isang kanto, sabi ko sa bodyguards, ‘oist, umalis kayo diyan, halikan ko lang itong..’ pero hanggang diyan na lang kasi may asawa eh baka mapatay tayo. Ngayon meron na, noon wala.””

“Dati Daisy yan. Naging Betty. Betty-Siete. Tapos, Triny-Singko. Pero ngaun, Sexy. Sexy- one na!” Rody added.


Archbishops Tagle, Villegas denounce death penalty-Rappler

By opposing the REPRODUCTIVE BILL, these prelates promote birth penalty.


“MANILA – President Rodrigo Duterte warned government officials who are not heeding his call to submit their courtesy resignations to expect no courtesy from him.

He expects Leni Robredo to give way to his friend, Bongbong, whom the President will appoint as Housing Czar in May 2017 after the one year DQ expires. Wailing in the wings as well is Alan Peter who is expected to replace Perfecto Yasay in the DFA portfolio. “Pilyo si Presidente. Gusto n’ya fireworks between these two ‘Buang’ during Cabinet meets.” Sal Paneloquips.


“Two associate commissioners of the Bureau of Immigration (BI) have been given 24 hours to explain allegations of extorting P50 million from Macau-based online gaming tycoon Jack Lam.”

“Can we just forget this? Namamasko lang naman? Besides, hindi naman Drug Money?” the President reminds the probers.


“MANILA – The House of Representatives is set to file an ethics complaint against Senator Leila De Lima on Monday for discouraging her former driver and alleged bagman, Ronnie Dayan, from testifying at a congressional inquiry into the supposed Bilibid drug trade.”

So, Congressmen Sex Scandal, Climax, and Signal Number 5 are Champs of MORALITY, after all.


“The provision states: “Every person legally authorized to practice his profession shall pay the professional tax to the province where he practices his profession or where he maintains his principal office in case he practices his profession in several places: Provided, however, That such person who has paid the corresponding professional tax shall be entitled to practice his profession in any part of the Philippines without being subjected to any other national or local tax, license, or fee for the practice of such profession.””

So Lawyers are taxable, tarnished, and targetted….


““We would want a quiet, peaceful, happy and auspicious Christmas for all Filipinos… Hopefully, in the coming days, we will see what is good in our country and not the disagreements,” Leni Robredo said in Filipino in an interview with reporters.”

Addict A: “Shabu brand ko”
Addict B: “Damo pare da bes”
Addict C: “Rugby solb yan pare”
Matira: “Magsama kayo! (Bang! Ratatat!)


Don’t be a fugitive like me, Senator Panfilo Lacson said in jest before Senator Leila de Lima left for the United States and Germany on Sunday.”

Staff of de Lima are quick to say that the Senator is just avoiding the proverbial “mamamasko.” They added, “anjan si Ronnie Joncel at Warren. Mga jobless na kasi….Alam n’yo naman si Ma’m, maawaing puso. Baka mamisinterpret na naman ni Vit.”


“MANILA – President Rodrigo Duterte on Monday said he will shoot any person who offers him drug money amid criticism over his order to reinstate a police official accused of protecting drug lords. ”

Jack Lam’s, Atong Ang’s, and Bong Pineda’s are welcome…


Tension flared between Senators Antonio Trillanes IV and Richard Gordon when a joint committee report that found no proof of state-sponsored killings in the country was reported out to the plenary on Monday.

Well, Dick Gordon is just riding on a fad that all’s well in the New Duterte Land. The SC sees nothing wrong in FM’s LIBINGAN burial. The SANDIGANBAYAN sees nothing wrong acquitting Gloria, Elenita, and now Jocjoc of Plunder. Dick sees nothing wrong in the daily pile of dead bodies as just plain police work.


“I’d like to announce that I’m going back to the Alunan doctrine. [Having] two or more armed guards is [considered] a private army. Iyang dalawa na iyan, if two bodyguards cannot save you, then that is your destiny in this world,” President Duterte said in a speech in Malacañang.

Some Cabinet secretaries misheard the presidential pronouncement. “Ano raw? Erap Doctrine? Ok lang kamo. Follow the leader!” Art Tugade volunteered.


“MANILA – A decade since the Senate investigated the alleged massive misuse of fertilizer funds under the Arroyo administration, the Sandiganbayan on Monday cleared former Department of Agriculture undersecretary Jocelyn “Joc-joc” Bolante of plunder over the P723-million fertilizer fund scam.”

By this acquittal, the Courts fortify the people’s perception of their inutility. Why go to court, spend a decade to try the case, and surprise us with an exoneration? Why go sleep in EDSA to depose a tyrant only to be buried at the LIBINGAN by a 9-5 vote? Let’z get on with EKJ. “MABUHAY SI DUTERTE!”


Duterte: Fewer people getting killed every day in drug war

But those in the know claim that St Peter is complaining of the sudden influx of refugees from the PH. “Mali daw talaga ang nayare nina Marvin at Matira. Kasi nga naman, bakit sa Langit napunta?”


“MANILA (UPDATED) – Sen. Leila de Lima is now en route to Washington, DC from Manila.

“Onboard an Emirates flight, De Lima is expected to land at the Dulles Airport in Washington, DC at 8:40 a.m., December 12 (US time).” By Dec. 15, she will be in Berlin, Germany.

In SEARCH of variety: US and GERMAN CUTS! The lady senator hums “MANEATER” in her Business Class seat.


““The practice of muzzle taping only shows the distrust of the organization to its very own policemen such that we need to require unit commanders to physically put a tape around the muzzle of the firearms of policemen,” a top PNP Official said.”

With EJK rising toll, expect a different atmosphere on NEW YEAR’S eve. “Parang All Saints’ Day,” a ranking LP member commented.


 

 

 

 

 

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