DUTERTE’S a joke….42

“Ang sweldo ko, ang liit-liit–P130,000 lang pala. Alam naman zimmerman-duterte-honeylet-20160512ninyo, dalawa ang pamilya ko! [Kung] hindi ako magbigay, andiyan si Inday Sara, nanununtok iyan eh. ‘Saan ang share ni mama ko?'” President Duterte quipped.

Honeylet retorts, “nagkasya nga sueldo mo nuong Mayor ka, bakit ‘di magkakasya ngaung Presidente ka na?”

“Mas ayos delegencia ng Mayor, Mrs,” quips Erap.


In a speech at a military camp in Tarlac late today, the President revealed that because of ghosts who are so bold that they even appear at daytime, he doesn’t spend the night in Malacanang anymore. He says that he has a nearby medium sized hotel as a secret hideaway with a warm body beside him. He discloses that he has three new GFs who fell for him whenever he croons Martin Nievera’s ‘Ikaw’ “Asan ba si Leni, ha? Kakantahan ko rin.” The crowd shouted, “Leila! Leila!”


kerwin-espinosa

“Kaya nga ayaw ko talaga, hindi ho ako dapat maga-attend as I’ve told you. Number one, nakikita ko nga hindi naman nila tinatanong yung tungkol sa Marcos-Bong Go. Pangalawa, nakita ko nga yung aura ni Ronnie Dayan. Sabi ko there’s something wrong. Naawa ako,” Leila De Lima told reporters, adding some senators were pressuring Ronnie Dayan.

Katrina Halili has the same reason when she faced Hayden Kho in one Senate hearing. “Guapo pa rin n’ya. Matikas. Alam ko tinatakot lang s’ya ni Vicky. Puputulan daw si Hayden kung ‘di haharap.” Asked what she meant by ‘putol’ the sexy actress said, “ano pa eh ‘di sustento. Kayo naman, oo?”


“Parang castrated kami ngayon na mga leader ng Liberal Party maybe because maybe many of us are afraid. Every time na meron kaming criticism, naba-bash kami sa social media,” Caloocan Rep. Edgar Erice said.

Pres. Noynoy AquinoAn aide to Leni suggested to install Edgar Matobato as LP Chair. “Atapang atao, pati Rody idinemanda. Kaya ba nila yun?”

“Kitam’, tama lang tawagin silang ‘Yellow’ kasi castrated na, wagdu pa. Si Panut, nawawala. Si Mr. Mar Sanchez, talaga Supot. Si Leni, nagpaparamdam kesyo “wala ako pangarap to be President and I want Rody to succeed.” Si Fat Man, may phobia sa Lechon,” Mocha, the First Lady, was heard quipping.


Dr. Natividad Dayan found that Mr. Duterte was suffering from “Antisocial Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” a condition characterized by “gross indifference, insensitivity and self-centeredness,” “grandiose sense of self-entitlement and manipulative behaviors,” and “pervasive tendency to demean, humiliate others and violate their rights and feelings.”

How is the psychiatrist related to Ronnie Dayan? Do we see a revenge angle here? A Doctor related to a paramour of a Senator who rejected a once-a-funny-time suitor who was a former Mayor?


marvinPRANGKAHAN: Ano kaya ang hawak ni Police Supt. Marvin Marcos kay Duterte? – Ellen Tordesillas

“May video scandal din daw na hawak si Marvin between Leila ang Rody. Tawa daw ng tawa si Leila at dinig sa audio ‘ay longanisa nga, longanisang Cebu naman'”


House Minority Leader Danilo Suarez on Wednesday warned President Duterte that the “honeymoon period” given by the minority bloc to him would only be until Dec. 31 this year.”

a con jobBut Suarez and his company are willing to extend it if the President hasn’t fully exhausted his time allotted to his “two wives and two GFs.” The MFL added, “mahirap nga namang sabaysabayin ang Honeymoon. Exhausting!”


“Iglesia Ni Cristo expands in Africa”

Test ImageThis is the best business decision of the Cult. They will soon be overtaken in Sales by the IGLESIA NI POGI. 16M have signified their intention to shift faith membership. “Mga DDS, mag-esep esep na po tayo. Ang tunay pong MESSIAH ay walang iba kundi si Mocha.” one die hard RRD fan was heard shrieking.


 

“Seventy-three year old Mick Jagger and his girlfriend, ballerina Melanie Hamrick, welcomed a boy into the world on Thursday, according to a statement made to BBC UK.”d-and-t

A 72-year old Official does it thrice weekly while still Mayor of Davao. Elected President, now he tries weakly.


John Glenn, who captured the nation’s attention in 1962 as the first American to orbit the Earth during a tense time when the United States sought supremacy over the Soviet Union in the space race, and who rocketed back into space 36 years later, becoming the oldest astronaut in history, died Dec. 8 at a hospital in Columbus, Ohio. Mr. Glenn, who in his post-NASA career served four terms as a U.S. senator from Ohio, was 95.”d-and-t

This is the age of the septuagenarians. One US President and a neck-of-the-woods Chief Honcho both claim that at their age, they can orbit and circumnavigate their beds.


“MANILA – Defeated vice-presidential bet Alan Peter Cayetano contributed P71.3 million in tandem ads to the 2016 campaign of Rodrigo Duterte, which is three times higher than his P23.6 million declared net worth in 2015. ”

“Kaya yang SALN, bragging rights lang ‘yan. Para kung makitang marami kang pera as a public servant, ang sagot d’yan, “aba’y dati na akong madatong!””the Billionaire Minority Floor Leader boasts.


Duterte assures Leni: You will serve until end of your term”

“Fr. Jun Evasco will text you soon….” the President further assured Leni Robredo.


““The Punisher” may have found the next target of his deadly war on drugs: lawyers who defend drug suspects.”

The IBP will soon be renamed by the President as “INUTIL BAR sa PASAY” whose members have lost lucrative drugs practice.


“Senator Leila de Lima on Thursday described President Rodrigo Duterte as a “murderer” and the “father” of the extra-judicial killings in the country.”

Vit Aguirre defends his Boss, “Eh ikaw “mother” of EBA!” Asked what EBA stands for, the bewigged Super Lawyer said, “extra-bodyguards affairs!”


“The Punisher” may have found the next target of his deadly war on drugs: lawyers who defend drug suspects.

“Kaya kayong mga abogado, magnotaryo na lang kayo!” Sal Panelo advised.


 

 

 

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