DUTERTE’S a joke….24

“Wala kaming pinag-usapan sa China kung hindi paano magluto ng siopao ng maganda pati chopsuey. Eh kung may ibigay ang siopaoChina eh di pasalamat, eh ‘di wala, eh ‘di huwag,” President Duterte quipped when asked how was his China trip went.

He added, “naki-usap din ang Beijing na kung maari i-extend ang Chinatown hanggang Scarborough Shoal. ‘Ikako, wag naman. Pwede siguro mula Ongpin hanggang MoA para matuwa naman si Henry Sy.”


“Sabi nila Duterte is not a statesman, he behaves like a hoodlum. duterteeTama ka. Ulol ka pala, ngayon mo lang nalaman?” President hoodlumDuterte told Filipinos at a gathering in Tokyo, where he is slated to stay for a three-day visit.

Continuing, “sabi nila bakla daw si Koko, Pinky, at Joey. Sabi pa nila malandi si Leila, Risa at Loren. Gago ka pala, eh. Ngayon mo lang nalaman?”


Parang Gripo

Trade Secretary Ramon Lopez earlier described the pledges from China after President Duterte’s visit as “Parang gripo yan na nabuksan (It’s like opening a faucet).”

lapidLito Lapid describes it as “parang Lahar.”

Pacman says “parang Left Hooks ko.”

Erap simply describes it “parang dami ng Kabit ko.”


park-tickerIn all AYALA and SM establishments u get a 1000% amount of park ticket. That’s how they value ur life.


 

 

 

 

 

When Stephen Hawking talks, people listen.

quote-the-development-of-full-artificial-intelligence-could-spell-the-end-of-the-human-race-stephen-hawking-88-90-36In recent years, Hawking has issued some rather apocalyptic warnings about artificial intelligence. “The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race,” he told the BBC in 2014. So when the world’s most famous scientist praised the opening of a new A.I. research center earlier this week, the Earth wobbled slightly as a million heads turned at once.

“Take the case of the Philippines, natural intelligence is about to end the brown race there….with artificial, the end is accelerated.” one US State Department staffer blurted out.


teddy-boyy“I’ve actually met the President only once. It was a short conversation where he just told me what I’m gonna do. “Dont’ defend me, Teddy Boy Locsin said. “I don’t need to be defended, okay, and just do it for your country,” Locsin told reporters on the sidelines of the UN’s 71st anniversary celebration at a prominent Manila mall, where he was keynote speaker.

One reporter was amused to see the two foul-mouths doing the high five differently. “Pare, sa halip na High-5, nag eskrimahan ng DIRTY FINGERS y’ung dalawang mama.”


duterte-osmena-mishandlingMANILA – Former Senator Sergio Osmeña III on Monday slammed President Rodrigo Duterte for “mishandling” the international affairs and relations of the Philippines.

Leila, with an impish smile says, “I was manhandled.”


BEIJING (The Straits Times/ ANN)—Chinese media and officials are silent on Philippine President Duterte’s effusive praise of China and his remarks on “separation from the United States.”

One Filipino-Chinese trader who was part of the Philippine delegation quipped, “pinoy na pinoy. Parang si Pacman. Dati kay Binay tapos nag-Poe. Nang matalo manok n’ya bumalimbing kay Rody.”


 

 

 

 

 

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