DUTERTE’S a joke….23

marijuanaDr. Dost Öngür, chief of the Psychotic Disorders Division at Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital, recently presented a sweeping slide-talk on complex current issues in treating psychosis, but it was one simple line of his that most stayed with me:

“I tell my students: Smoke all the pot you want — after you’re 30.”

AGOT ISIDRO tries to figure out the math on this after she tweeted her now famous “psychopath” spiel against the Davaeno.


bimbyKris Aquino, Bimby meet James Yap and Michela Cazzola’s baby boy-Headline

Asked by a movie reporter how the meeting went, James replied, “ayon, tinarayan ako. Happy daw ba ako sa Rain or Shine Elasto Painters while looking at Michel….hehe”


fernando lopez“Gusto ko lamang po ‘yung idea ni Marcos… ‘Yung ‘Biyayang Dagat’ pati ‘Masagana 99.’ Ibalik ko ‘yun. Kokopyahin ko. Bright ‘yung tao. Alam niya ‘yung gawin niya. So ibabalik ko ‘yun dahan-dahan,” President Duterte said in a speech before typhoon victims at People’s Gym in Tuguegarao.

“Nagtampo na talaga si Cayetano kasi ang pagkakarinig niya, “Ibabalik ko po si Bongbong dahan-dahan.” Sal Panelo whispered to a kibitzer.


duterte-china1Surrounded by some 50 closed-in aides and friends, President Duterte headed on Wednesday to the five-star Da Dong Beijing Roast Duck Restaurant, which has attracted a number of celebrities and VIPs.

The booking was made for 12:30 p.m., but the party arrived at 1:40 p.m. and finished past 4 p.m.

It was the MINORITY FLOOR LEADER of the HOUSE who footed the bill to the delight of Speaker Panty Alvarez. “Le Cirque na Le Cirque Pare ah….!”


da-dongBEIJING—One hazy afternoon during his state visit, unorthodox President Rodrigo Duterte sneaked out of his official suite at the Grand Hyatt Hotel and walked along the busy Wangfujing snack street to have his fill of fine local cuisine.

“They ordered seafood—fish, also the beef, crab, sea cucumber, chicken,” Yan Lin, reception director at Da Dong told the Inquirer through a local interpreter.

“Bong, tanung mo nga kung saan huli ito?” Duterte asked his aide.
“Sa Scarborough Shoal daw ho….” sagot ni Bong.


The $24-billion investment and credit line pledges that the Philippine government secured from China earlier this week were a display of “greater confidence” in the future economic relationship of the two countries, according to Trade Secretary Ramon Lopez.

map-24-tabula-indiae-orientalis-et-des-isles-adiacentes“We were sold by Spain to US for $20M. Gusto ng China may collateral ang $24B na utang kaya isinanla ko muna ang BAJO DE MASINLOC. Bahala na kayo tumubos.” Rody coyly responded to a local newsman’s query.


‘If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Shut Up!’ Ex-President Fidel V. Ramos Has A List Of Advice For Pres. Duterte.

Gordon: “You’re Wong Digong!”

PNoy: “Shut up, Eddie!”

Erap: “Kayo naman. 72 na si Rody. Hayaan n’yo na kung kursunada n’ya puro Oral….”


The $24-billion investment and credit line pledges that the Philippine government secured from China earlier this week were a display of “greater confidence” in the future economic relationship of the two countries, according to Trade Secretary Ramon Lopez.

These were the projects, among other investments, pushed by Mike Arroyo before Joey de Venecia went to town in 2007. “Nahihiya si Mike sa mga CheQua na nag-advance na ng commission sa Broadband. Kaya ipina-kiusap kay Rody na bigyan ng negocio ang mga CheQua. Sulit pa!” an aide to the former Speaker confided to a Duterte gofer.


“America has lost now. I’ve realigned myself in your ideological flow,” he told business leaders in Beijing on Thursday. “And maybe I will also go to Russia to talk to Putin and tell him that there are three of us against the world: China, Philippines and Russia. It’s the only way.”three-stooges

Hollywood has put on the block the script of a new project “The Three Stooges.” Donald Trump is interested in producing it.


168-shopping-mallMANILA – The country’s business process outsourcing (BPO) industry said Saturday it was seeking an audience with President Rodrigo Duterte to discuss their concerns as he increasingly distances the country from the United States.lucky-chinatown-mall-binondo-016-1024x678

Perfect Yasay has Plan B. “Expand 168 Malls and Lucky Chinatown all over Mindanao and hire as SALESPERSONS the 1M laid off BPO workers.”


DAVAO, Philippines (UPDATED) – Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte said on Saturday, October 22, he would not sever his nation’s alliance with the United States, as he clarified his announcement that he planned to “separate.”

The President has biblical authority when he announced his new policy direction courtesy of the Pacman: “What hath God put United Let no man put Separate.”


MANILA, Philippines — Sen. Richard Gordon on Thursday rebuffed President Duterte’s latest pronouncements threatening to break ties with the United States, calling the Commander-in-Chief’s position “wrong.”

“Yu Wong Dee Gong,” Dick called his President.


MANILA, Philippines — Sen. Richard Gordon on Thursday rebuffed President Duterte’s latest pronouncements threatening to break ties with the United States, calling the Commander-in-Chief’s position “wrong.”

“Kung dahil lang sa na-reject ang Visa Application n’ya ihihiwalay n’ya tayo sa US, magpapalit na rin ako ng pangalan.” the Dick protested.

Win Gachalian asked the Dick what new name he has in mind, the Dick replied “Tai Nee Dik.”


BACOLOD CITY, Negros Occidental — Senator Paolo Benigno Aquino said on Thursday, that President Rodrigo Duterte’s introduction of former senator Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr. as the next vice president, to the Filipino community in Beijing, China, should he win his electoral protest against Vice President Leni Robredo, was “troubling” and a “call for action.”

Alan Peter Cayetano was seen sulking in Beijing after this announcement twiddling his phone whether to call Sonny Trillanes or not on the recall of Matobato on the witness stand to continue the EJK investigation until the next electons or 2019 and break the BINAY probe that spanned two years of unprecedented demolition job. “Pare, birahin na natin si Bongbong. Tumatanaw ng utang na loob ang gagong Presidenteng ito.” Alan Peter declared.

col-honasanSonny T poked Gringo to join the discussion suggesting to the ex- rebel if he still has on his payroll RAM pilots to fly the TORA TORAs that jarred the bejezzus of Cory. “US won’t mind, Sir. No buzzing this time,” Trillanes sighed.

Rene Saguisag, on learning this, chimed in, “sigue nga. Para ‘di naman masabing Coup Pal lang kayo kapag nag coup coup kayo sa babaeng pangulo. ‘Tang Ina you.”


BEIJING, China (UPDATED) – In front of Chinese businessmen and government officials, President Rodrigo Duterte announced his “separation” from the United States both in military and economic aspects.

“I announce my separation from the United States, both in military but economics also,” said Duterte on Thursday, October 20, during the Philippines-China Trade and Investment Forum.

On hearing this, Elezabeth Zimmerman was heard remarking, “very typical Digong. Kung ako nga nilayasan, US pa kaya?”

A longtime pal who refused to be named added, “chinita talaga type ni Rody noon pa man.”


President Duterte has been issuing statements without consulting his Cabinet, Defense Secretary Delfin Lorenzana revealed yesterday.

Lorenzana made the inadvertent admission after Sen. Franklin Drilon asked him if the Philippines was really terminating joint military training exercises with the United States, during Lorenzana’s confirmation hearing at the bicameral Commission on Appointments yesterday.

Lorenzana gave a candid response: “Mr. Chair, I really don’t know because the President has been issuing statements without consulting the Cabinet.”

“Kung kailangan ko ang mga opinyon ninyo, ibibigay ko sa inyo. OK?” the President was heard whispering.


The House of Representatives justice committee in a report said it was able to establish that the illicit drug trade at the New Bilibid Prison (NBP) flourished under the watch of then justice secretary now Senator Leila de Lima.

Francis Tolentino, the 13th Senator, likewise claimed that Leila’s love life flourished. “Matindi umibig si Leila. Una meron s’ya Ronnie. Hindi natagalan sinabay-sabay na n’ya. And’yan si Jonel, Warren, Jaybee, Vit, Danny, Rey, alias Kabayo, Totoy Mola, Max Panabong, alias Pupog, Tio Paeng, alias Harmonica, Boy Tumbong, at marami pang iba.” added the former MMDA chief.


A police van in the Philippines rammed left-wing protesters and ran over some of them at an anti-US rally outside the US embassy in Manila on Wednesday.

“Jaywalking,” the PO3 driver was heard saying.


Funeral parlor stockpiles 100 bodies-Report

funeral-parlor-stock-100-bodiesThe Owner of Henry Funeral Homes in Barangay Paang Bundok, La Loma, QC says that they are on a standby where in case the President declares the number of dead in EJK as 3000, these cadavers come in handy to disprove his numbers. “Kapag sinabi po ng Pangulo na 3000 na ang napapatay, ilalabas po namin sa media na 3100 na po ang dinale na nila,” the embattled embalmer was heard muttering.

Hearing this, the Mayor of QC says he is withdrawing the charges against the Parlor.


 

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