DUTERTE’S a joke….20

honeylet-letAs he hit the century mark in office, a wistful President Rodrigo Duterte talked about how he hated spending lonely nights and why he’d rather kill himself if his “most important weapon” conks out before him.

Perfect Yasay whispered to the President that China and Russia are willing to retrofit his MIW free of charge. “Kaya lang Mr President, baka tawagin kang BOY KUPAL ni Leila kasi mga supot si Vladimir at Xi Jinping.”


 

matobato-bato-cotabatoMatobato surrenders to PNP, to be taken to Davao-Headline

Accompanied by Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV, erstwhile Senate witness on extrajudicial killings Edgar Matobato surrendered to the Philippine National Police headquarters in Camp Crame, Quezon City yesterday.

A team from DDs is now strategizing how a RIOT shall be conducted in a Davao jail where Matobato shall be detained. “Dapat iba naman ang script natin. How about suicide?” the DOJ Sec was heard suggesting.


“I moved on her actually, she was down in Palm Beach and I failed. I’ll admit it. I did try to f*ck her, she was married … and I moved on her very heavily. I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture and I told her ‘I’ll show you where you can get some nice furniture. I moved on her like a b*tch, and I could not get there, and she was married. And all the sudden I see her and she’s got the big phony tits, she’s totally changed her look.”

wolf-whistlingThe Donald is patsy compared to our President. A former Aquino cabinet official was loudly whining that he hopes the Americans elect the Donald as their 45th President. “Misery loves company,” he blurted out.


After President Duterte, on Thursday, delivered his usual expletive-laced speech before policemen in Camp Rafael Rodriguez in Butuan City, Police Senior Inspector Arvin Jusmillo asked for a few minutes from the President to propose to his girlfriend, Police Senior Inspector Romea Alnieza Kinang. and promised “forever” to the President’s aide-de-camp through a marriage proposal.

“Mahirap na,” ‘ika ni Jusmillo after his proposal to his girlfriend in the presence of the the President.. “Baka malusutan pa ako ni Digong…” he added.


LEGAZPI CITY, Albay — Mount Bulusan in Sorsogon province erupted on Thursday, spewing out ash-laden steam for 15 minutes, the Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (Phivolcs) said.

For the past 100 days MOUNT DUTERTE has been erupting in various fashions sometimes in Malacanang and in Davao City almost daily with three regulars, 2 endos, and 10 co-terminus.


Confessed assassin Edgar Matobato showed no fear when he reappeared at the Senate on Friday, saying he is now leaving his fate up to God.

“Doesn’t he realize that I have already taught God to be compassionate? Maawa sa kanya ‘yun, pero sa akin, ibang usapan ‘yun,” the President told Bishop Soc Villegas.


duterte-cayetano-legazpi-20160305-009Confessed assassin Edgar Matobato showed no fear when he reappeared at the Senate on Friday, saying he is now leaving his fate up to God.

When the President heard this, he gushed, “good that he realized that his fate depends on how I decide on it.”


In what may have started as one of President Rodrigo Duterte’s many tirades, government is now serious in ramping up trade ties with China and Russia.

An apparent ground breaking was made when two Chinese nationals and one Russian shipped 28 kilos of cocaine worth P135-million. “Good start,” Mart Andanar reported to the President.


President Duterte added that he had no barangay captain or congressmen supporting him in his campaign . As far as campaign funds go, he said he had none, save for the donation that only Ilocos Norte Imee Marcos gave him.

Expect the RESHUFFLE of the Cabinet next year. Gina Lopez eases out Mart Andanar as Press Sec. She will be replaced by BONGET as DENR Sec to oversee the revitalization of the MINING INDUSTRY. “Matagal ng nasa MINING ang mga Marcos. Madalas ko marinig c Madam s mga diplomatic functions, turo ng turo, ‘this is MINE; that is MINE’ ika.” YASAY pointed out to one Consul.


President Duterte said that he had no barangay captain or congressmen supporting him in his campaign . As far as campaign funds go, he said he had none, save for the donation that only Ilocos Norte Imee Marcos gave him.

All the surviving dummies of FM notably Lucio Tan Henry Sy Felipe Gozon Duavits Danding Tony Boy Cojuangco r now trembling in their pants. “TOKHAN cla malamang pare. What they TOoK, they HANd back.” Bong Go was heard talking.


Diabetes Drug ‘Metformin’ Could Increase Human Lifespan To 120 Years.

Researchers in Belgium found that metformin which is used to treat Type 2 diabetes could increase human lifespan to 120 years. The drug reportedly prevents diseases associated with aging like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. We hope days are not far away you can see your great great grandchildren.

SILDINAFIL however has an offsetting effect. The requisition of the drug in Malacanang experienced an unprecedented spike.


Metro Manila (CNN Philippines) — Three foreigners, two Chinese from Hong Kong — Pau Homanevan and Chan Kawai — and Russian Kirdyushkin Yury, were arrested early Wednesday evening at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) when their luggage yielded kilos of suspected cocaine worth around ?130M.

Minority Floor Leader Danilo Suarez filed an urgent Resolution in the House extolling the 3 foreigners for heeding the call of the President when they brought in the high grade product from their countries, revitalizing our economy. This call came in the heels of the President’s preference of China and Russia as new friends in lieu of the outmoded and exploitative amity with the West. “Magaling itong tatlong ire. Nagpasok ng bagong produkto. Iba naman yan sa Shabu.” the congressman was heard whispering to his Boss, the Speaker.


MOST congressmen are now sporting a new TOYOTA SUV the motor company unveiled as the PORKTUNER.


If PNoy has his STUDENT COUNCIL, Digong has his SANGGUNIANG BARANGAY where information and vital announcements are made by the village chief. Bahala na ang mga taga Barangay to figure out the nuances or as Abello famously declared “sub-culture” flavor….

If Leila is a SLUT I think with the way the President trash-talks, the guy is SMUT hehe.

Koko and Pinky and Joey Salceda incidentally like BRUT however.


MANILA, Philippines – They may come from different political parties but female senators on Monday, October 3, joined forces in filing a resolution denouncing the House of Representatives’ plan to show the alleged private video of Senator Leila De Lima at a congressional hearing, calling it a form of slut-shaming.

Senators Risa Hontiveros, Grace Poe, Nancy Binay, Cynthia Villar, and Loren Legarda have filed Senate Resolution No. 184 condemning the House plan against their colleague.

Slut is a term for a woman or girl who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous, they unwittingly described Leila, their colleague. With this statement coming from the LADY SENATORS themselves the House unanimously withdrew its plan to summon Leila.


 

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