DUTERTE jokes……8

vice ganda and duterte“Rody to host own radio Program.”

Blame it on Vice Ganda who told him he’s better heard than seen.


Did presidential candidate Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte go too far in his recent statement about a victim of rape?
In a viral video posted on YouTube, Duterte, who was onstage during a campaign rally, narrated a rape incident about an Australian missionary.

(All the women there were raped in the first assault and they retreated but the bodies the attackers used remained there, one of which was the body of an Australian lay minister. Tsk, this is a problem… The body was brought outside and it was covered. I looked at her face, son of a b****… she looked like a beautiful actress in the United States.). “P***** i**, sayang ito. Ang nagpasok sa isip ko, nirape nila, pinagpilahan nila doon. Nagalit ako kasi nirape? Oo, isa rin ‘yun . Pero napakaganda, dapat ang mayor muna ang mauna. Sayang,” he added.

Defending his Boss in an interview by AL JAZEERA, Spokesman Ernesto Abella explained the roughness and colorful language of the country’s leader could be attributed to the “Cebuano subculture.”

Lito Lapid, for twelve long years, never spoke a word as senator. Blame it on the Capampangan sub-culture.

Erap, while President, reports for work at 4pm and quits at 4:25 am…groggy and made mahjong killings from his groveling CheQua buddies Atong Ang, Dante Tan, William G….Blame it on the Tagalog sub-culture.

..and Marcos while making love to Dovie Beams sang Pamulinawen…and on the throes of coming, blurts, O’KINANA….blame it on Ernie Maceda whom Imelda suspected on pimping on her Ilocano hubby….yup, blame it on Waray sub-culture.


“Matin “The Caveman” Andanar said the next step would involve the rehabilitation of some 700,000 drug users who turned themselves in to police for fear of being killed.

“When told the President had consistently said that drug users could not be rehabilitated, Andanar said Mr. Duterte was only referring to individuals who sniff “shabu” (methamphetamine hydrochloride) on a daily basis.”

In that case, Andanar was heard saying that Crematoriums, instead of REHAB CENTERS, shall be provided…..for the destruction of seized drugs…


pics 4 furies“Maganda mga pics mo, Bong. Dependable ka talaga,” ‘ika ng Boss n’ya. “Mga amoy APPLE lahat yan, Boss!” yabang ni Bong. “Ur right Bong. Mga amoy APUL na nga!”

“Boss, GOOD BETTER BEST!”
“Yawa ka Bong. The Good, the Bad, and the Horny. Yung CORDUROY, sa pantalon ko lang gusto yun!”


“Dalawa available dito, Boss,” report ni Bong Go sa Amo nya. “Yung isa, sumakabilang buhay na ang asawa.Yung isa, siya mismo ang sumakabilang bahay.”

‘Mukhang hilaw ang INTEL mo Bong,” ‘ika ng Boss. Dili man siya gid sumakabilang bahay. Nagpagawa gid siya ng dalawa bahay.”


Dalawa lang ang may YAGBOLS sa Senado.

One senator was heard muttering, “kung tipong ala-Marcos ang current President, masarap magtalumpati laban sa kanyang patakaran. Eh mahirap na baka isama kita sa Matrix. Mahirap iSNOWPAKE yun.”

Kaya dalawa lang talaga ang may YAGBOLS sa Senado. Si Pinky at si Kokay….hehe


There’s a talk going around that the President has co-opted Congress. The vaunted courageous men and women in the Senate preferred to have a working relationship with Malacanang not because of PORK but simply because they are wary of how the new president would approach the Opposition because of his violent reputation.

Eh ang LOWER HOUSE? Nuknukan ng DUWAG ang mga kinawatang yan. Saan ka nakakita ng LEHISLATURA na ang SUPER MAJORITY eh 100% ng mga miembro?

transgender repMay isa nga lang nagkaYAGBOLS jan, Ex-YAGBOLS pa!

 

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