DUTERTE jokes….3

sara-duterte-baldKOTA KINABALU — Sabah is prepared to face the possibility of people from the southern region or the hunted Abu Sayyaf members fleeing to Sabah.

SABAH on the South. SARAH on the North. Your days are numbered, ASG!


Executive Secretary Salvador “Bingbong” Medialdea will be in charge of the country while President Rodrigo Duterte attends the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (Asean) Summit in Laos this week, Malacañang said on Sunday.

Sec. Bingbong, in case you have not seen him, is the guy Bong Go has to push out of camera’s range or all we get to see is his bulging tummy, blocking the Man from Davao. Incidentally, he has ordered the Palace Chef to stock on PULUTAN and SINGLE MALT while the teetotaler Chief Executive is on junket. BTW, he called on his immediate predecessor TOPAQUITS OCHOA to join him.


MANILA – The executive order formalizing President Rodrigo Duterte’s declaration of a state of lawless violence will be issued anytime now by Malacanang Palace, the President’s chief legal counsel said Sunday.

SAL PANELO said that the tentative EO is similar to President Marcos’ PROCLAMATION 1102 issued in 1972 when ML was declared….Asked how similar, LEILA said, “na ONSE na, na UTO pa!”


KRIS AQUINO is now hell-bent in squelching the rumor that she has a brother born in Leyte named RODRIGO COJUANGCO DUTERTE.


A close aide of Davao City Mayor INDAY SARAH heard her Boss humming and singing an old hit of ERIC CLAPTON…..”I knocked the SHERIFF, and I nearly hit the FORENSIC……”


Boy Abunda and Vice Ganda are supporting the President in the creation of a FEDARATION……..Ambassador Goldberg lent his unwavering support.

Not to be outdone are Senators Pinky and Kokai.

PS Harry Roque.


MANILA – Actor Robin Padilla has called for unity among Filipinos after a deadly blast ripped through a busy market in Davao City, the hometown of President Rodrigo Duterte, leaving at least 14 people dead and more than 60 others injured.

When BB GANDANGHARI heard this, he asked the phone numbers of BINOE who has not called her up since her coming out years ago…..


INDAY SARAH has all of the KRIS AQUINO Twitter hashtags following the DAVAO BLAST. “Subuk- subukan lang n’yang magcomment ng sintunado laban sa TATAY ko, UUPAKAN ko s’ya!” reminiscent of her famous or notorious bout with the Sheriff and Dr. FORTUN.


In an interview, Boy ABUNDA said he and KRIS AQUINO remain close friends and he is still her manager for endorsements.

“I still do her contracts,” Boy said.

“Wala kaming pagbabago na pinaguusapan ni Kris. I continue to represent her endorsements. Will there be problems in the future? I don’t know. Hindi ko alam. Sana wala,” he said.

Asked if Pres. DUTERTE asks Kris to do a movie with him, does he think she’ll agree? “Why not? That will be a casting coup!” Asked about what the movie title would be, Ricky Lo suggested, “Taklesa ng Davao vs Taklesa ng Tarlac.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *